Bye Bye America

A Dryhopped Old School West Coast IPA. It was late fall, 2025 in the Brackendale Eagles Provincial Park, located on the Squamish River in British Columbia, Canada, when senior park manager Andra Semanjick started to wonder. To her pride and joy she had seen the population of bald eagles grow steadily in her park for the past 10 years. But now there appeared to be somewhat of a boom in the population of the majestic bird. And strangely, the many new birds clearly spoke with a southern accent. Andra discussed the phenomenon with fellow rangers across Canada, and from all of them came the same observation: we seem to be experiencing a sudden, huge migration of bald eagles from our neighbor to the south. And they were all seeking political asylum. An ornithologist from BirdWatch Canada managed to get an interview with one of the refugee birds, named Ryder Storm. Mr. Storm told the reporting ornithologist that he had just come in from Voyageurs National Park in northern Minnesota – packing a serious suitcase. “The thing is, we have simply had it”, the bird squeaked. “Orange Donny is destroying our country, bit by bit. The USA is no more a good place for neither man nor fowl”, Ryder Storm sputtered harshly, while adding, “I brought everything we own and will try to set up a new home for the missus and the wee ones – if Canada will accept us”. Independent observers estimate that with the current escape rate the US will be emptied of their national bird, the bald eagle, by the end..